


What If

by dracospungen



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, POV John Watson, Suicidal John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 15:07:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9767471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracospungen/pseuds/dracospungen
Summary: What if it had all been different.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s a short ficlet I wrote back in 2014-15 about John. Since it might contain a few things I thought better take precautions and make a TW list so be sure you read that before starting, take care - and I hope you’ll like it! (Know that it was my first ever written piece for the Sherlock fandom and I’m really self conscious about my writing).

What if John hadn’t met Mary. What if he woke up in the middle of the night, dreaming about it all happening again and again, Sherlock falling, over and over. What if he eventually became depressed and refused medical treatment, help from his therapist and ignored all the phone calls and just shut himself up in their apartment, not even letting Mrs. Hudson inside to make him tea? What if he started to sleep in Sherlock’s bedroom, read all his books and never cleaned the table of Sherlock’s things because he wanted it to stay the same, to feel like as if Sherlock was still there, as if he never really jumped? Or that Sherlock would simply walk into their apartment again as if nothing happened in the first place? What if one day he couldn’t stand it anymore, seeing all the familiar signs of Sherlock in their flat but never actually seeing him, and what if he decided that this would be his last day alive? What if he’d planned his own suicide perfectly and as he pushed away the chair under his feet he could feel himself disappear into darkness? What if he’d woken up in the hospital feeling even worse than before because he knew as soon as he’d regained consciousness that he had tied the rope too loose to the ceiling. What if he, when he opened his eyes, suddenly felt a weight on his stomach, and as he looked down to see what it was, he realised it was Sherlock sitting by his hospital bed, head buried in the sheets, his hands grasping onto the bed and his mouth repeatedly muttering: _“I’m so sorry John”._


End file.
